I’m tired.

I’m tired of wasting my life. I’m tired of chasing worthless dreams. I’m tired of being content with sin. I’m tired of complacency.

And I’m tired of making excuses.

I’ve been to this place before. Many times, in fact. And although I usually make some kind of commitment to change, I inevitably fall back into complacency every time.

Not this time.

It’s not that I’ve gained the strength to follow through this time. Quite the opposite, actually.

I’m realizing more and more just how desperate I am for God’s grace to get me through. I can’t be faithful by my own strength. I need God to change me by His power.

So when I say, “Not this time,” I’m not claiming that I can do what I’ve never done before. I’m not boasting in my flesh, that I have the power to change. I’m crying out to God, that He would keep me from what I could not keep myself from. That He would keep me from worthless dreams, and from complacency, and from excuses, and from falling back into the sins of my past.

“Not this time, God. Please, not this time.”

Depending on myself gets me nowhere. Doing what I’ve always done will get me what I’ve always gotten.

God’s grace is sufficient. It’s sufficient for salvation, and it’s sufficient to conform me to the image of Christ.

“God, change me by Your grace. Amen.”

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